“And there is no sex without love, is harsh law in my heart” sings the Italian singer Antonello Venditti in one of his most beautiful songs, “Ricordati di me”. Yet the “liquid society” in which we live seems to be moving exactly in the opposite direction. Sex without commitment, lived in a superficial way, characterized by the words “what is wrong…”. It is the same society which accuses the Church to be sexophobic, reactionary, and medieval.
And instead the truth is exactly the opposite. The Book of Father Knotz is only an example. Just read what is written in the Catechism of the Catholic Church: “sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure: The Creator himself (…) has established that in the total physical mutual donation the spouses feel a pleasure and satisfaction of both body and spirit. Then, the spouses do not commit any evil looking for this pleasure and enjoying it”.
The point is precisely the way in which they live the joys of sex, which for the Church is not a taboo. It was perhaps in the past, for certain partial visions that gave priority to the procreative aspect, to the transmission of life, at disadvantage of the unitive aspect, equally fundamental for the good of the spouses. The concept that the Church does not stop to repeat teaching is the need to reserve this “mutual donation” to spouses because, as further explains the Catechism, “sexuality, by which a man and a woman give themselves to one another with the acts which are proper and exclusive to spouses, is not something purely biological, but concerns the innermost being of the human person as such. It is fulfilled in a truly human way only if it is an integral part of the love by which a man and a woman commit themselves totally one to another until death”.
Herein lies the difference. The dominant relativist and consumer mentality rejects this lofty vision of the human person and trivialize sex, by reducing it to the ludic and hedonist aspect that at the bottom is nothing other than the exploitation of the partner, more or less occasional, for one’s own personal advantage. Perhaps unconsciously, masked by love that “it is beautiful while it lasts”. And that not infrequently has as a consequence the closure to life. The spread of pornography, facilitated by technology also among the youngest, is the most obvious symbol of a way of “disposable” thinking son of the “culture of the temporary” much criticized by Pope Francesco who instead sees in chastity, a word that is now out of fashion, a new taboo.
Ultimately, the Pontiff himself has stated several times that the spouses can argue, they can even break the dishes, provided that they do not go to sleep without having reconciled. And what better place that the bedroom for it?