Husband and wife are two originalities that live in communion. Each one must secure and help the growth of the other in all their specific capacities and qualities. The deep and intimate secret desire of a true and serious groom is for his wife to achieve fulfilment. He expects every day to understand and accept the opening of this mystery which is his bride, who always reveals new qualities and values and makes always amazing and positive surprises, that overwhelm him and fill him with joy. The wife reads in the eyes of her husband the beauty and the qualities of her own person and rejoices endlessly. She accepts herself because she is accepted. The bride who loves her husband wants him to achieve fulfilment and contemplates the opening of the mystery which is her man, rejoices and thanks the Lord. The groom sees in the eyes of his bride the greatness and the beauty of his own person.
Revelation and originality characterize the evolving of family life. But when one has nothing more to disclose to the other, boredom and sterility of mind and heart take possess of both of them and they cease to be the miracle and a source of wonder for the other. The husband discovers the harmony of the woman’s body, her beauty that transcends the physical parts that compose it. Harmony that invites him to contemplate it and to abandon himself to a union which transcends bodies, that are the symbol and the means of participation. His wife discovers the strong and vigorous beauty of her husband’s body and contemplates its force, rejoices in the security and serenity that comes from its closeness. In pure abandonment their bodies unite in a higher dimension that transcends them.
That abandonment reaches the uncharted depths of the spirit, where one does not need eyes in order to see, nor ears in order to hear; to understand reason is not necessary anymore, but only participation, communion. The moment of abandonment of the one to the other is contemplation and participation in a wider mystery. The joy that follows is the confirmation of the fact that everything went well. The Lord has arranged the order of creation so that sometimes it is her, the true consort, to ask for the encounter with him, and sometimes it is him who asks her; other times none of the two asks because they are already one in the other.
Love is a celebration of joy in the Lord. When he asks and she does not respond or grants herself to get rid of an annoyance, death is supplanting life in their union. The granted union becomes material, insignificant and humiliating: what is missing in fact, is the purpose of the union. It makes no sense anymore and leaves the subject in an endless solitude. As someone who sits at a table and has the dish that is not filled with food; as the baby who sucks at the maternal breast that does not contain milk. It is the desperation of the void of the two beings who live together. First ceases the dialog, then also conversation; words became bullets that hurt, sometimes mortally. That moment of abandon is full when possibility of generating life is not excluded, but left the laws of nature, in which the river of a full life flows. Certainty that in her heart there is only him and vice versa completes the conditions under which husband and wife are a living unity in one body.
Awareness of the conformity of the act to God’s plan produces conscience of the legitimacy of the act itself that causes the act is beneficial, tonic. Seeing one another is not the same with knowing each other; in order to see each other it is enough to have good eyes, to get to know each other husband and wife must love each other. Man knows only the one he loves. To hear and to listen are two different things as well; in order to hear, it is sufficient to have a good ear, to listen one must love. Man listens only to the one he loves. Walking the same road is not the same as walking together.
People say that mothers dote on their children; in fact they see what those who do not love cannot see. There is a kind of intelligence that derives only from love. It is said that boyfriends dote on their girlfriends; it is not true: betrothal is that period in which the betrothed see because they love; if they begin to use the other for premarital relations will no longer see anything in her because gradually he reduces her to a tool. Premarital sexual relations are the tomb of love.
From “Honor thy son, and thy daughter”