• Italiano

“Every position or form of excitation is possible”; “frivolous games and spicy fantasies” are well accepted; “you can make love even to give mutual pleasure, not only to procreate”. The person speaking is not a blue movie star or one of the many sexologists that appear on the TV shows, but father Kwasery Knotz, Capuchin friar, 51 years ordained priest in ’91, who for a long time is engaged in the front line in an attempt to break what many consider a taboo: the relationship between the Church and sexuality. In order to do it, he started to meet couples during spiritual exercises related to theme, has opened a web site and he wrote a book: “Do not be afraid of sex“, that the Guardian has pleasantly named “The catholic Kamasutra “.


The text, however, has nothing to do with the ancient Indian Treaty on sexual behaviour. It is instead an essay on conjugal love, on the intimacy of the spouses, which starts from the assumption that pleasure is never prohibited if it seeks the fulfilment not only of themselves but also and above all of the other. “If we think that making love is evil, we separate from God – repeats as a mantra father Knotz, to the couples that he meets every week – sex moves two people who deeply love each other closer to God. Represents the most significant demonstration of love and God is present in it”. After all, he says, the Bible is full of sexual quotes: the first is the cry of excitation of Adam when he first saw Eve”. In a so awkward ground, for those who believe, the polish friar inserts a criterion that settles the issue between good and evil: respect. Pornography therefore, (as thought by the Church) is banned. It “paralyzes” intimacy, since “the images which our mind has been filled, re-emerge during the intercourses, and prevent to pass from a biological excitation to the deeper one”, based on a profound bond between husband and wife. Also, because “the spouses learn from one another and they do not need models” and “the beauty of sex goes far beyond the limits of the technique“.

Warning to media

All forms of “virtual sex” must be condemned, since “on the mobile phone, on skype and via webcam you do something else, not love. For that, it is necessary that bodies touch each other”.  A warning is then launched to the media, which are focusing on everything except on the relationship “between intimacy and love”, that becomes the true “insurmountable taboo“. In short, you go to bed in two, to give and to receive, without making your own ego prevail and without patterns prefabricated by the internet and by the TV. Within these parameters – which obviously adds to the obligation of fidelity – according the friar, everything is allowed, including foreplay. “Sex is like a football match – he says – it is beautiful when the action changes, you do not understand in what direction the game goes and when you cannot predict the final result. Sometimes there is a penalty, but there are very high moments”. Better, therefore, to avoid “a language that is vulgar and not real” that threatens to spoil the atmosphere.


Knotz tends to say that his job did not came out of nothing. On the contrary it is based not only on the interpretation of the Sacred Scripture but also on authoritative doctrinal texts. One on them, the “Theology of the body” of Pope John Paul II, a work that George Weigel, North American biographer of Karol Wojtyla, has defined “a time-bomb”. “The Church, through the teaching of the popes, appreciates the sexuality more than anyone else in the world that surrounds us, and believes that society continually underestimates it – explained the religious in an interview – The body expresses the totality of the spiritual richness of the human being, which means that sexuality is drawn to represent this richness. This is not a trivial relationship based on superficial sexual desires, that can be generated and broken up almost immediately, but a relationship that allows you to create a stable and faithful union, based on love and trust”. Handholds which have allowed father Knotz to carry out his work without “excommunications”. Indeed, the Polish Church has authorized to publish his book. There is, however, a minimum of personal experience that allows him to connect with couples in a more credible way, “I was engaged, before entering the seminary“.

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