Unable to love

  • Italiano

In each person it is easy to grasp the difficulties and obstacles that might reduce or turn off the ability to love and be loved. We speak about person, because the couple is composed by two individuals and the success of the relationship depends on the growth of each, only later from the relationship that it will establish.

Inside each one  “good seed” and “weeds” coexist. God allows to develop both together. The distinction is not made during the growth, but at the time the “harvest”, burning the weeds and enhancing the well. The person has the possibility at any time of life to continue or change direction. Recognizing and accepting their own fragility can turn weeds into good grain, so the obstacles become positive energies that promote life and relationship.

Anna Bissi, consecrated, psychologist, works as a psychotherapist in a family consultation center, helps to understand some of the obstacles to the ability to love in a mature way. The first limit is chronological, age-related; It is a mistake when parents require from child or adolescent the same generosity ability and dedication expecting  from adults. You have to give enough time to grow and mature. It is, as we have seen, of a slow and delicate process.

A second obstacle to the ability to love is when you refer only to the emotional aspect and feeling, without involving the will and commitment. This is one of the tragedies of our time: if we do not try nothing, or the feelings are moving on another person, even love and relationship they fall, we seek someone else that will inspire our emotions .

If the will and commitment do not enter in the experience of love the development freezes, because the subject is folded on itself. This covers those manifestations of selfishness, “love” possessive, sophisticated, immature, which prevent the heart to dilate and giving oneself. Then the person will use the partners, claims attention and affection, and if the other does not meet the expectations we get tired, avoiding to actively involve himself in engaging the search for good.

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